AGE OF MARRIAGE!!!

   I believe that studies done on the age of marriage have great implications for parents but most importantly for anyone who is planning or even thinking about getting married. Studies have shown that the younger people are when they marry , the greater the chance of them divorcing. I've taken a social psychology song and we learn that people who marry when they are twenty or older have a lesser divorce rate. In no way are we saying wait until you are thirty to marry but people need to be mature enough and know the meaning of marriage before. Also, we need to make sure we get to know the person we are dating before making commitments. I learn from  my social psychology class that people are able to hide themselves well for about three months, so get to know those you date. Lack of higher education is common in younger marriage, which means lower income. But if people are willing to love one another and work together, the age won't matter.

PARENTING STYLES!!!

    Raising children is definitely not an easy task. I am not a parent yet but that doesn't mean I was not a child. Parents have to go through so much after they make that decision to have children. I remember being little and how it seemed like my parents didn't want me to have fun. They just wanted to make my life miserable with all the rules they were coming up with. Now I can see they had my best interest in mind. However, one thing that would have been better is if my parents were active parents. They were more of the autocratic/authoritarian parents. They had high expectations but didn't give me much of a say in anything.
   Parents, if you want your children to have high self-esteem and be assets to society instead of hindrances, you must be careful with the approach you take raising them. Parents should be active/authoritative--I wish my parents were. Be involved in the lives of the children. Have rules and expectations but make sure they have a say in those decisions. They need to learn to cope with life and make decisions. Don't deprive them of such a great lesson. "My way or the highway" is not the way you should be with your children. Children with active/authoritative parents will fair better in life and will be able to pass such wonderful parenting styles to later generations.

FATHER'S and FINANCES!!!

     This is an interesting topic. In a traditional family--supposedly--the father does the providing and the mother will take care of the nurturing part. In my opinion, I do agree with that point a view to a certain point. I agree that fathers should be doing most of the providing financially and mothers should be the main nurturer. However, in those responsibilities, both fathers and mothers should be helping each other in their respective duties. It is great when mothers stay home to raise their children--not because their place is in the kitchen--but they are able to influence their children in such a way that no one else can.
     Children are blessed when they have their parents at home to raise them, especially during the younger developmental years. Since fathers are primarily the providers in the family, mothers are most likely to be the ones raising their children. Children who are raised by their mothers instead of others--daycare--are better off in life. They will have high self-esteem, which will allow them to get along well with other people. They will be able to have a great relationship with others in their lives. They will also have less behavioral problems. Mothers do not trade in their mind for the mop when they stay at home to take care of their children. It is worth it.
  

THE PROBLEM WITH COMMUNICATION!!!

     We hear often that communication is the key when it many different aspects in our lives. It is the key in our relationships with friends. It is the key in our relationship with our parents. It is the key in our interactions with our siblings. Whether or not everyone agrees that not knowing how to communicate can be problematic in relationships, we all can agree that couples can be closer to each other when communication is used wisely. Imagine how miserable it meeting someone--at a party for example--with whom you try to communicate but they simply are horrible at carrying a conversation. This is an extreme example but it is almost the same in marriage and family life. You have to be able to communicate with each other. One important thing is that, couples need to be considerate of each other and needs to avoid judging each other. The way couples communicate with each other can either reduce tensions or makes things worse. Communication--good communication that is--in marriage is very important.

What are Crises?!!!!

   When dangers meet opportunities, we have crises ladies and gentlemen. That is one of the best definition of the word crisis. No matter how happy or sad a marriage life is--problems will exist. In other words, crises are inevitable in marriage life. Couples will have to face some important decisions and when they come to those forks in the roads, they will have to make hard decisions. Amidst those crises are dangers and opportunities. Dangers because family members can become isolated from each other or opportunities because they can grow closer together. Our attitudes play a big role during crises. When we have good attitudes and choose to act instead of react, great things will come out of crises and happiness can be achieved. When families work together through their troubles, they become more united and are able to gain problem-solving skills. Happiness is able to last. 

Fidelity!!!

    Fidelity is to be faithful to someone or something. It is full commitment, respect, and trust to that one person or thing. Infidelity, on the other hand, is to be unfaithful in any way with someone or something other then the person or thing you are supposed to cling to. We are to leave mother and father and cleave unto our none else but husbands and wives. Most people think of physical intimacy when infidelity comes to mind. But that is not the only way infidelity can happen. Another way is when people are unfaithful emotionally. When a husband or wife start confiding on a friend or someone else instead of the spouse, emotional infidelity takes place. It may seem so simple and innocent at first, but can quickly lead to physical intimacy and marital problems. When we share intimate things with people, we tend to draw closer to them. That is why confiding in someone else other than your spouse is a bad idea. The couple will be drawn apart and that can lead to problems. That is why our spouses should be the only we really should share intimate things with. When we are married--or even during engagement--we must change who we talk to and what we share with others. It is not that you don't care about your friends anymore but you're trying to build a strong relationship with your spouse now.

THE IMPORTANCE OF PATTERNS

   Everything we do in our lives are always better off if we have patterns. Patterns give us the road map necessary to get to where we want to go. Just like anything else we do in live, the family life is the same--there should be patterns. These patterns actually needs to be set up before starting a family. For example, couples need to talk about their way of live before the wedding day. The wedding itself and the way it is arranged can say a lot about the family life of a couple. The wedding should be a celebration of love and not the time to show off by having everything beautiful and perfect. It should be the time to celebrate the love between the couple and invite the other relatives and/or the community to support them.
   Patterns that are established before or early during a marriage will last a lifetime and even forever, so that is why we need to develop good patterns and habits early on. Some of the things that needs to be developed early on deals with communication' the way people will talk about situations in the family. Also, money management--who will and how to manage money--is very important to the happiness of the family. Shopping, education, and the how to raise children. Couples also need to prepare for when children come into the family. 

COHABITATION!!!

     What is the definition of cohabitation? Word net web defines it as "the act of living together and having a sexual relationship (especially without being married)." It seems as if people today have every reason to believe that cohabitation is the best way to select a life partner. Dating is being replaced with cohabitation nowadays. People like to "test the waters" before getting married, so they live together to see if they like each other. The statistics are against this way of finding a partner. It is not the best way for several reasons but people tend to disregard this because they don't want to fully commit or simple don't want to get married.
     Some of the reasons people cohabit is because it is a precursor to marriage, for coresidential purpose, and trial cohabitation. Precursor to marriage means they do it because they will one day get married, so it'll be a good experience. Coresidential daters just don't want to be single, so they do it mostly for practical reasons although they are not thinking of  long-term relationships at the time. Trial cohabitation refers to people who are intending to marry but want to check things out first.While these are understandable reasons, it just takes away from the experience of being married, living together, and figuring things out together. Cohabitation doesn't build trust like in a marriage.
     Some of the statistics for cohabitation compared to marriage are as follow:
1) Married couples report more sex and more satisfying sex.
2) Married couples have a better-quality relationship
3) A women is nine times more likely to be killed by her partner in a cohabiting than in a married relationship.
4) Married couples report greater happiness, less depression, higher levels of commitment to the relationship, and better relationships with parents.
5) Marital unions are more stable and durable
6) Children born to cohabiting parents are five times more likely than those born to married parents to experience parental separation; the instability is higher for white than for black or Hispanic children.
7) Cohabiting-parent families spend more than married-parent families on alcohol and tobacco but less on education.
     These are some things that can help you think twice about cohabitation if you ever get to such a situation. Marriage is a wonderful thing, so don't give up your virtue and integrity by cohabiting.     

GENDER ROLES

   There is a war going on around us, and that war is more dangerous than we give it credit for. It is not a war between countries or states but it is a war between genders. People seem to have forgotten that gender is  a pivotal part of our society. To be clear, gender is not the same as sex although they are related. Sex refers to biological identification--male or female. Gender, on the other hand, refers to behaviors that are associated with being male or female. Hopefully this makes things a little clearer.
   The world seems to be in confusion about gender and that is a problem because everyone should understand their identity. One religious leader once said--and I'm paraphrasing here--when Satan wants to ruin society, he doesn't try to destroy the world's peanut butter supply. He confuses gender roles because people can't fulfill their responsibilities unless they know them.
   What are the different roles or responsibilities associated with gender? The two most obvious ones are the fact that mothers are nurturers and fathers are providers. Each has a different role but that doesn't mean one is more important or greater than the other. Satan on the other hand wants females to believe that males are superior to them. When he can get people to believe that, they will look down on their roles and ignore them. As a result, society will suffer because females are trying to become like males and not fulfilling their duties.
   Now, there has been great blessing because of the feminist movement but some people are taking it too far. Women can't be like men and men shouldn't be like women because we have our different roles. We are supposed to complement each other. For example, men seemed to lack the ability to multitask while women are experts at it. How can this help in the home/family? Men can be focused on work and provide for the family. Also, when men come home, they can leave work behind and focus on their wives. Women are able to do many things at once. In a family with several children, mothers are able to focus on each child and other things that need to be done as well because they have the ability to multitask. Let's not forget that men and women are different because we are. Let's worry about complementing each other and know that every role is important.

Culture and Diversity!!!!!

     What is culture? The word culture could be considered an ambiguous term. However, one of the best definitions of culture is shared customs, behaviors, beliefs, and characteristics within ethnicity, race, or even families. Cultures are different throughout societies, so when people of different cultures come together to interact, that can pose some threats when it comes to communication because symbols, tone of voice, language, and body gestures can mean different things to different cultures.
     With this introduction to culture, let's think of families. How can cultures affect the relationship of two people? Remember that even people from the same country or region can have their own cultures. People from different cultures will undoubtedly have their own views of things. We can't expect people to think, behave, and act the same. For example, a musical band can't have everyone playing the same instrument. They will be playing different instruments, but they will learn to be one--play in harmony. Likewise, I believe it is the same way with people when they come together, they will have their different views and opinions but need to come together and settle the differences. Some people choose not to marry others of different race, background, or culture. I believe that can be a bad and inconsiderate decision. Everyone will encounter problems but any two people willing, can and will have a wonderful marriage despite their differences. The solution is communication. We need to communicate in our relationships with others instead of judging or condemning others for things that they do that do not seem normal to us. We must change our way of thinking to where we'll be considerate and willing to understand others. We'll be surprised to see how easy it is to get along with people--even those who are different than us in every aspect imaginable.

THEORIES

     Theories are nothing more than just mere explanations--but very important explanations. The main theories are system, exchange, conflict, and symbolic interactionism. Together, these theories can provide great ideas about how the family should function. Understanding these theories will also provide insight on how so solve family problems. System's theory sees the family as a whole unit and does not focus on individualism. There are subsystems. Exchange theory is more self-centered because people expect favors in return in order for the relationship to last. That is a very ineffective way to have a relationship. Conflict theory recognizes the inequality that exists because of struggle for either power, status, or both. Symbolic Interactionism focuses on the symbols of interactions.
     These theories help me to understand the importance of communication in a relationship. We simply shouldn't assume that the other person knows things. Communication is key to a happy and healthy relationship. We also need to care about the other person instead of thinking about ourselves all the time. I need to become better instead of trying to make the other person better. 

The Family Under Attack

    This Family Relations class has taught me some pivotal things already. Before going into the family issues, I find it interesting that we've actually went over methodology--the method of acquiring knowledge. It is not a science or psychology class but it is still important to learn about the different methods that are used to obtain knowledge. That way we can be savvy consumers of truth. We can be critical thinkers and that will allow us to digest information about the family better.
     On a more negative note, there are too many popular trends that are detrimental to the family life that Heavenly Father would want His children to have. Trends such as premarital sex, cohabitation, delayed marriages, and divorced rates are all going up--even among members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Although these threats exist, God will continue to create ways for us to be happy in our family lives. The family is the most important unit. It is the foundation of society--which is why Satan attacks it so hard. It is our duty to keep the family strong, so let's do our part and make Heavenly Father proud.